Tuesday, March 4, 2008

The cheese stands alone

Yesterday there was a monumental event. Someone did NOT tell me he was hungry when he wailed on the bus. Instead she looked at me, hands clasped in front of her resting over her cane, lips plumped and pointing, and winked as she said in a knowing tone: "Try rocking him a little, sweetie". Then she showed me by jiggling her cane what she meant, and thankfullly so-I mean, what was this "rocking" she spoke of? I had never heard of it before she enlightened me. Surely it was some mystical, magical unicorn in baby care-one that no one tells you of unless you are pure of heart and can make it out of the haunted forest alive. Maybe the old woman herself was a fairy that only I could see? I gaped at the old woman, all of a sudden draped in a white, dusty light reflecting off the scummy bus window. Rocking a baby! Thank you Old-lady fairy! I gave her my best smile and turned my back, back toward my stroller and crying baby. When all of a sudden I heard her wispy, windy voice "shhhhhhhh-ing" in our direction. Yet another moment filled with magic for me. Shhhhh! Thank-you baby gods! I feel more complete as a mom now that the fairy you sent me ignored my doubtful scorn and persisted. The way she shhhushed for my baby, as obviously I was too stupid to do it myself...I will never forget it.


flipper Pie said...

So far, best post ever!
This reminds me of when someone, say, posts a video on you tube and everyone comments on it saying exactly the same thing. Like they don't see that one person said it, so it's already been said. No, they have to show that they also thought of it too, so they will post it for the 800th time, just to make sure everyone knows they agree.
My point is that, honestly, do these people really not think you've tried this shit AND heard it from other people already? I don't have a baby and even I know that they cry because they are tired, hungry, have gas....whatever. Once you try to address those problems, if the crying keeps going, there isn't a lot you can do. So for someone to suggest you try the most common remedies to the problem is like that jackass who just has to add that 800th comment that is the same as everyone else's. Fuck!

Complainy Pants said...

Love you, flipper pie. You clearly get it!