Saturday, March 1, 2008

THANK YOU, take 1, 007, 653


Train, 5:07 pm.
Baby crying.
Train is packed. Lady rubbing shoulders with me decides to give train full of people a lesson in why I am a terrible mom. She "tut-tuts" and talks as if I am not there. "The baby is hungry! Where is his bottle?! He needs a bottle! She should feed him! Tut, tut, tut. Poor baby. He is suffering. She should have a pacifier!" Finally, I give her the stink eye and she addresses me: "Where is his bottle?" Me: "I'M HIS BOTTLE!" (I am losing my patience). Her "Then give him a pacifier" (rolls eyes) "Geesh..he needs a pacifier". I deliberately turn my back to her...because if I don't my name will be all over the news headlines tomorrow. No doubt they would sensationalize the murder and attribute it to the new buzz word "post-partum".

I don't make this shit up. The world is full of stupid people...and it's got me thinking today: ever seen the show Dexter? I could do that. Except I would take out the stupid people, one "he's hungry!" at a time.

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