Sunday, March 23, 2008

You seen one...


The little "filomena" man from housekeeping had to come and steam clean the carpets in my MIL's hotel room yesterday because she has come down with some sort of stomach bug. We went to visit her today as we stayed away yesterday to allow her some space to, well, get "rid" of whatever it was. Unfortunately, it's not gone. She looks like death warmed over. When she called this morning, my husband asked if there was anything he could do to help her and her response sent him into the fetal position. Now, when I tell you what she said...her exact words...you will say: well what is so bad about that? But you see, her true talent lies not in what she says, but how.

Husband: "Is there anything I can do for ya, mom?
MIL: "You mean, besides visit?"

Every time there is a dramatic, emotional blow up with his mother (Her instability usually stays lurking under the surface and rears its ugly head once a year) I see my husband change completely. The normally calm, cool cucumber shifts to a stress-ball narcoleptic. Basically, he shuts down, tunes out and goes to sleep. I used to be left doing a juggling, high wire act to entertain her on my own while he took a "quick nap", but things have gotten so bad over the years that he knows if he did that again...if he left me alone with her...I'd be singing D-I-V-O-R-C-E. In any case, since she has been here visiting us, and her new grandson for the first time, she's made at least 10 snide, hurtful comments towards me, 2 towards her son, 2 that showed a scary mental psychosis (more on that later), one complete, blubbering emotional tantrum on a mall bench, has ignored us for two whole days as punishment and now...this "stomach bug". I'm not saying the bug is fake. I smelled that action today and it is very real. But should she be, in some way, happy to be sick because it means attention for her? Oh man, I'm so stressed about her being here that I've eaten a tub of Hagen daas, two cadbury caramilk eggs and two chocolate Easter bunnies (the kind with the rice crispies inside) since yesterday. Oh....ok, you got me-can't blame that on her. Damn Easter Bunny. What a bitch.

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