Tuesday, May 13, 2008

I should be ashamed of myself

Whilst trying to navigate a border crossing today I did the unthinkable. No not "forget" to declare my un-allowable purchases. Well ok, yes that too. No, I went against everything I've ever said, stood up for, believed in fought for the right to...here's how it happened:

Border Guard: "ma'am, can I see your passport?"
Baby Boy: "WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
(I pass document to guard)
Baby Boy: "WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
I nervously twist in my seat to look at baby boy.
ME: "Ooooooooo, darlllling, poor sweetheart, smushy-wushy, baby boy!" (I lay it on thick)
Border Guard: "And what is the purpose of your trip?"
Baby Boy: "WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Me: (sweating now): "Oh, just a little change of scenery, a little shopping, you know, getting out of the house...(under breath) buying wads of baby stuff and possibly a whole new wardrobe for me."
Border Guard: (now walking around with my documents in hand chatting with other border guards about some strange beeper-like device that is not working; Other border guard retrieves new strange beeper-like device and holds it in my window. Lights flash. They continue discussing)
Baby Boy: "WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Border Guard: (finally!) "And how long will you be staying?"
Baby Boy: (purple in face now) 'WAHHHHHHHHHH!"
Me: (fake, pained, worried expression on face): "Just today! HE IS SO HUNGRY! I really have to feed him!!!"

He wasn't. At all. And if the border guard had suggested it, I might have plucked his eyes out with my tweezers. He was just being pissed off and wanted out of the car seat. But I, disgracefully and without morals, stooped to using my biggest pet-peeve to get across the border faster. It worked. And I got some amazzzzzzing deals.

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