Ok, this post will definitely be TMI and may turn you off your lunch. I'm just saying. I'm about to talk poop.
Since being sick last week I've had what I will refer to delicately as "digestive issues". God I feel like my nanny right now. Whenever anyone of my aunts were sick and anyone asked after them she would look away, a little haughtily, puff her cigarette uncomfortably, and do a hand *"wafture", saying "oh now, its women's issues". It might have been a simple headache. But I digress.
Baby boy has discovered a very powerful tool: whining. Its like TNT, a spider on your ceiling above your head as you fall asleep, a dripping faucet, an earthquake=impossible to ignore. Really he is ok, but whining to let us know he would like something different. How do you tell a 6 month old (oh my god...he's 6 months old!) to stop the whining!!!!??? So today I ran off to do my business leaving baby boy in his new "office" (must change my profile to explain how much I like this new toy-the exersaucer) and just as I'm pinching a much needed loaf, he begins to whine. Whine. WHINE. WHINE! Agh. As a new mother I've discovered this uncontrollable and inexplicable urge to always respond to baby. No matter what you are doing. Its silly at times...you know, he will live for 2 minutes while you finish...but instead I feel myself becoming overwhelmed. Sweating. Rushing...only you can't rush nature. So there I am stuck between a rock and , well, you know...
And I'm calling out to baby boy "its okkkkkayyyyyy......(breathe, breathe) mommmeeeeee's here! Just a minuuuute sweeetheart!". And it hits me. This is what it means to be a mom. Never shitting in peace. Never having the luxury of closing the door, reading some comics, trolling the internet on your laptop. Oh I know many moms warned me before about this. But its even more weird than you can imagine when you come to actually experience it. Because I could close the door. I could have my laptop. But, I CANNOT ignore baby boy. And it makes your heart race. Its really not something you'd understand unless you are a mom-and dads I think you could just close the door and ignore.
And so...my doody does not win over my duty. And it doesn't feel good on the bum, but my ears and heart thank me.
*While teaching Julius Caesar to grade 7's the funniest and best part was when Brutus gives Portia an "angry wafture of his hand" and for weeks the kids were wandering around "wafturing" at each other :)