I don't know where that saying came from, but we used to say it all the time as kids when something was particularly gross, or equally as uncool. Like regular wash blue jeans in 1988. "Gag me with a spoon!". Everyone knew that acid wash was the only way to go!
Today it was a beautiful, sunny day. I took baby boy to the mall with his best friend, baby girl, and her mama. Yeah, maybe we should have hit a park, but I had gum surgery two days ago and I just needed to get out of the house. The mall had bathrooms nearby and places to buy more milkshakes when hunger hit (and I can't exactly eat a burger right now- Drooooool, a burger! Oh I can't wait to eat real food again!). Anyways, there we were at the mall.
We sat to have a latte-mine through a straw-and I gave baby boy and baby girl a teething cookie each. Baby boy is having eating "issues" in that he will only eat things he can hold himself. So, I am currently breaking all the rules when it comes to baby's first foods. He should be having rice cereal and then I should be weaning him slowly onto other non-allergenic foods like sweet potato and carrots. But he'll only eat teething cookies really. Call the baby nutrition police! ANYWHO...
There he sat...being a little comedian. He was eating the cookie through a HUGE grin and his eyes were focused on baby girl's mom. He would often miss his mouth because he was too busy looking at her, cooing and then all of a sudden letting out a big "GAHHHHH!" giggle-type exclamation. Then he started to gag. Ok...this happens a lot when he is eating, and the nurses say it's totally normal. Something to do with new foods as he gets used to textures and stuff. They also say not to get too worked up or he will notice your anxiety and maybe not want to eat anymore. So, I usually making "yum-yum!" sounds instead and smile at him until he swallows whatever it is. I did the same here.
"Yaya! MMMmmmmm...Good cookie!" Then he gagged a little more. Then he did his cute happy scream at me and baby girl's mom. Then he gagged. Happy squeal. Gag. This continued for a minute. Baby girl's mom looked inside his mouth while he exclaimed with happiness and said the little bit of cookie was small, so not to worry. He gagged some more. Laughed some more...drooled a bit. Gagged and then swallowed. "Yay! Good boy! Good cookie!" We said.
Then all of a sudden he threw up. Again. And again. And...again. My hand shot out, cupping under his chin like an outfielder diving for a ball. I caught the barf. Then the next. And the next. My hand was a basin. The barf floated in it. Baby boy screeched with delight! Yay! That was fun!
I had to "empty" my hand into a receiving blanket and baby girl's mom grabbed a wad of latte place's napkins. It was then that we looked around. Our little cafe table was full of wadded up napkins full of curdled breastmilk barf and "chicken with vegetables" baby food (baby girl's earlier meal), our two latte cups, a pacifier that had fallen on the floor and was now off limits, a couple of other toys, a dirty bib. Puke was on my pants and all over baby boy too and his stroller, giving us both that sweet/sickly smell. Baby girl's mom kindly cleaned up the puke from the stroller but a stain would remain to be dealt with later...nice.
The last time we went to the mall together, baby girl peed all over her mama's lap (the diaper leaked) and then happily kicked and giggled while being carried off to the baby change room. There is a sort of desperation that washes over you at a moment like this-"what has become of me? I feel so dirty!" But then you look at them enjoying the moment so much and you just have to let it go. Forget mom jeans...this is what it means to be changed forever as a mom. Your jeans might be nice and modern, but guaranteed they are covered in something previously reserved for toilets.